My Heart is Damaged...because I miss the hell out of Danity Kane

Danity Kane was a super fabulous singing group! The whole world watched each member scratch and claw their way into the final group. Those who watched Making the Band had no choice but to respect their hustles, respect their grind and most importantly believe in their talent. They were singing it up on tour, album was sitting pretty on the top of billboard and all was well in the R&B world. We were all convinced that we had finally found our Bad girls for life. I thought I was never going to get over/forgive Diddy for the disappearance of Kima, Keisha and Pam (R&B group Total duh!)in 2000. Those girls disappeared like a fart in the wind! BUT ALAS arrived Danity Kane and my faith was almost fully restored.  No one could have been prepared for what happened next...

 The group straight up crumbled like an old biscuit and that was the end!

Now Dawn is a 2-stepping shadow behind P.Diddy counting "Dirty Money" 

Aubrey is dancing slow as hell on stage as seen on her reality show. D Woods is doing music video cameos...and nothing more. The other two are on the back of milk cartons. What the hell happened ladies??!?#@#?!$?!@$?!@$

We miss you so come on back but PLEASE leave Day 26 in a past calendar year and definitely leave Donnie right where he's at. lol

I facebook common criminals! Don't we all?

I could not possibly be the only person who gets names out of the newspaper and searches those names on Facebook! It is not like I have gone as far as to friend these accused criminals but sometimes I am overcome with curiosity and cannot help myself. I look up thieves, drug kingpins, rapists, tax evaders, suspended public school teachers, all the air traffic controllers who fall asleep on the job, terrorists I mean I really do not give a hoot as long as I can get some more background information.

Do I need background information on all 47 of the members of a credit card/identity theft ring? Maybe! What I know for sure is that I have a knack for utilizing and damn near exploiting all available resources and thanks to Mark Zuckerberg I can do this with much ease.

The truth is that in the age of social networking people better get used to the idea that every couple of seconds someone is going be clicking on you. Whether it be your linkedin profile, your twitter account, or that picture of you digging up your nose in Penn Station we (meaning myself and the rest of the free world) have access to you!

You do not have the be a criminal outed on the 8 o'clock news to feel or be exposed. If you did not know, I along with many others use Facebook as a watchdog. So for all you criminals out there I'M WATCHING YOU, I'M READING YOUR UPDATES, I'M TRACKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS AND I'M LOOKING AT YOUR TAGGED PHOTOS! For everyone else, I am doing all of thee above and definitely clicking your boyfriend/girlfriend's name and going through her pics too. If you do not want to be found...MOVE TO MARS    #Imjustsaying

More BBM Icon Rules!

3. No one wants to see your abs or your weewee on bbm either broham.  When guys show their abs I usually think its because they are butt ugly like the brothers to the left and the right lol If you're showing your weewee, it is because you found that perfect blackberry camera angle that adds 3 inches.  Get ahold of yourself, you are channelling the true pitiful gigolo in you. You should be ashamed.

No one is fooled by you spreading your tax refund money across your twin size bed. We do not see this icon and go awww man Jake is balling out of control i have to get a job where he is working. People with sense just shake their heads and people without sense are probably plotting to stick you up the next time they see you. It is rather tacky, just stop it. Please find below random a** pics of people getting money, I especially love the girl who has a little over 200 bucks, I wouldn't get very far at Whole Foods with that lol

TELL THE TRUTH! Is facebook turning you into a player hater?

Has facebook made you super critical of even your closest friends, your first cousins, your 70 year old uncle Junior in Kingston, yourself?!?!?!

Do you often go through innocent peoples photos and hear yourself saying "yea right b*tch you not fly I got 2 of those" or  "Look at this hoe she's blind, she left 2 strands out of her ponytail." "Oh that's your man, he used to be mine...back in 74' when we were at Camp Happytime, i was wifey that summer!" Whatever it may be, tell the truth! Facebook introduces you to the little green monster in you.

It is sad but true, especially if you're single and you are friends with any of those pathetic people who puts pics of themselves kissing their flavor of the week and statuses about how "Young Jiggaman Drake Stackingpaper Stewart Gucci Jackson" is the wind beneath their wings lol

Everyone seemingly has these perfect lives in facebook with perfect clothes and perfect skin and perfect relationships...everyone but you yes i know.  WELL SNAP OUT OF IT! No one wants you to know that they just got fired, their tooth fell out, their hair is breaking, their boyfriend is cheating on them with their God sister and that all their clothes were purchased with stolen credit cards. Take everything you see on FB with the biggest grain of salt you can find and do not even sweat it, everyone on FB is what i call "Frontin' for the like button," that and 99% of your facebook friends wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire so why devote any energy to into liking, loving, hating or envying them, they probably don't deserve the shine.

Go on facebook, update your status, like a couple of quotes or funny statuses about whatever came on TV last night and keep it kicking because it's just never that serious :)

Dating a man with children...errrrrr ummmm yea how about them Knicks! lol

The truth is i have tried this before and it just did not work. Now when men with kids try to "holla" i just get really annoyed lol.

Do i have a sign on my head that says "Looking to pick up where the mother of your children left off" or "Looking to join a family that is already in existence any vacancies?" 

I love the kids. In fact, I spend all of my free time with my two nephews because children are such wonderful people but dating a man who has this whole other life force with him is harder than one might think. Sure I will go to the Universoul Circus w/ you and your living addendum, but when he/she throws a peanut shell in my eye and tries to push me into a ring of fire I don't know man I may begin to have my reservations. lol

I do not even want to discuss the "baby mama drama," that topic is such a dead horse!

MOVING ON- Let me be completely honest, I AM SELFISH! I do not want to share my man with Nickelodeon, or daycare, or parent teacher conferences or The children's place. I want to come first, not 4th after Dora the Explorer.  I want to feel like when things get serious, he and i can build something completely new together. We can make mistakes together and learn from them together. Call me immature but unless he is my soulmate, I generally shy away from dating men with kids because it honestly makes me feel as if I am invading someone else's space. I feel like an intruder. Is it just me? 

What do you think? TAKE IT OFF ; )

Every time I go to Whole Foods I Leave Topless because Im forced to Give them the shirt right off my back! lol

Listen, I am trying to get my healthy living on just like the next lady but the hot food bar at Whole Foods is straight up highway robbery.

It is practically a weight loss breakthrough. You will walk all over the place for 25 minutes looking for plain ol' normal mayonnaise  (they have 400 types of mayo from 500 different places but do not roll up in there looking for miracle whip because you would be playing yourself). Off of the walking alone you will break a sweat and work up an appetite. Walk on over to the hot food bar but do not expect to get your fill,  you probably won't be able to afford to be full. If you're not Lady Gaga or jay-Z or somebody you can probably only afford one chicken wing and 3 macaronis (thats about 11 dollars right there).

Repeat these steps for a week and apart from your knees buckling from starvation you will probably lose 5 lbs.  They need to have some sort of student discount at the hot food bar because i cannot hang!

Robert Pattinson looks a mess, what channel is everyone watching him on so that I can see what they see lol

He really looks bad to me. I do not understand why anyone thinks he is hot.  #thatisall lol

Hip Hopping Show Stopping Booty Poppin Yard Stompin' Pop Lockin' Mindless Sheep!

I hate it when rappers say something or feature some product in their video, a sort of shameless plug/the perpetual tribute to the good life that us peasants wouldn't know anything about

Examples:

Drake featured in "Invented Sex" by Trey Songs: . It's a celebration clap, clap, bravo. Lobster and shrimp and a glass of Moscato “


Jay-Z's "Show me what you got" video features the luxury champagne Ace of Spades.


Jacob watches, Frank Muller watches, air force ones, ALL TYPES OF PREMIUM DENIM (true religion, nudie, antik denim, red monkey etc.) 


WHAT THE HELL EVER the list goes on lol Anywho


I cannot stand it! Rappers say one thing and every broke joke within 500 miles of a Source magazine is all of a sudden on it. Drake says moscato and in an instant the brothers who were drinking welchs grape and 4lokos when it was time to get their buzz on will let nothing other than Moscato grace their weed blackened lips. Fabolous talks about rose moet and now the guys who were in the club putting their nickels together to afford a bottle of Alize are turning over couch cushions left and right trying to get enough money together for a  bottle of rose moet. CAN PEOPLE BE ORIGINAL I MEAN SHEESH, HAVE YOU NO SHAME?


that is all lol

<---DO YOU SEE YOURSELF ANYWHERE IN THIS PIC YOUNG MAN? NO? THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE PROBABLY BROKE SO STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU ARE IN THE RANKS OF THESE PEOPLE LOL

The Search for the perfect bbm pose (its like trying to find Osama smh)

Finding the perfect bbm icon that will have people who haven't hit you up since they thought they saw you in Walgreens 5 months ago out of the clear blue sky asking you "Hey what's up where ya been" truly is rocket science. I will randomly be blogging rules for bbm icon success. Stay tuned!

1.Do not put up a pic of your milkshake from Johnny Rockets. The milkshake thing may have worked for Kelis but it won't work for YOU.  The inanimate objects are not the bomb. 

2. Only the bbm perverts want to see your butt or your breasts in your icon. All your female friends think it is a desperate and pathetic cry for help. Guys may like it but that is only because it gives them something to save and then twitpic for the non bbm world to see.  

The people who wait all day to see your butt or breasts appear on bbm will then begin to treat you like a bbm booty call. They will only bbm you in the wee hours of the night to talk dirty to you and some nights they will just skip the flirty dirty talk altogether. They will just say "hey are you up? What you doing? I am so bored want to chill?" lol

It is just like the real world. Those people who are super quick with the message when your thong shows up in their bbm status updates do not really like you. There will be a day when your status changes to: "Hey my dog ran away. I got fired. My hair is falling out. My corns are so painful i've developed a limp, somebody pickpocketed me at the DMV, they suspended my license, i have a cavity, i deposited a check but the bank took it for overdraft fees and left me with 16 cents and my rent is due.  I think I am going to end it all."  On that day  "Ladies Love Cool Peter" and "Fist Pumpin' Paco" who had too much to say when you had your 36D's in your icon won't have the decency to send you a bbm sad face! lol 

#IM JUST SAYING, keep it classy bbmer and thanks for stopping by :)

Is it me or...are the people who live next door to me straight up bums?

These people never sleep!  They play Flo-rida, J Cole and some other underground hip hop sounding noise at all times of the night. I cannot imagine that these people have jobs to tend to the next day. Sure maybe their shift starts at 4pm but night after night must you use the walls as a pair of beats headphones?  I mean being unemployed is one thing but you are up screaming "who dat who dat" at 4 am clearly you want me, your quiet neighbor, to be out of a job too. Turn it down before I accidentally call the police.

If you have noisy neighbors don't be afraid! Call the campus police, call the real police, HECK call the meter maid if you have to lol CALL SOMEBODY who can save you from this injustice. Some people say it aint tricking if you got it, well it aint snitching if you got it..."it" being a dang job to wake up and go to.

The wee hours of the night are for sleep. These are the hours that your body needs to recuperate and should not be used for singing "Baby I was born this way" and "Rum pum pum pum mumma i just shot a man down and a  rum punch punch."  This dude is blasting wiz kalifa  right now (if you're listening to wiz kalifa i know that you're smoking something and it aint turkey legs!).

If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, go to sleep so that in the morning you will have enough energy when you wake up to pay attention!

Dating a Younger man- Age ain't nothing but a number or quickest way to meet Chris Hansen and land lead role on Dateline ?

Are you doing your "social networking" by the sandbox?  Have you been to Disney on ice...w/ your date? Have you offered your man an adult beverage only to have him decline and ask if you have chocolate milk or grape juice?

If you answered yes to any of these questions you are either already a full fledged cougar or a CIT (Cougar in training), also known as a puma and let's be clear, IM NOT MAD AT YOU! Get in where you fit in girlfriend :)

 I am just wondering, i am a lovely young lady between the ages of 21 and 35 and every now and then i meet a HYT (handsome young thang). I always take the high road and say "No young sir, I am sorry but you are just too young for me." For me, it is less about age and more about where we are in our lives. I've finished undergrad and am working towards my longer term goals and if you may need help studying for the SAT's or want me to accompany you on college trips I just do not think we will work out. Is it just me? Is everyone else out there finding love at the playground?

FACEBOOK HAS CREATED A WHOLE GANG OF FAKE HUMANITARIANS LOL

No but seriously. I am not sure if it is a good or a bad thing because after all , support is support. This is how you increase awareness and so who am I to call you a straight fraud but at the same time let's be serious. Before twitter and facebook you were not praying for Haiti, you were praying for that fine a**Jamal you met in front of the club last night to call you or your boy to call julissa so that Julissa can plug you in w/ her long legged friend Lisa.

When I see people who haven't watched the news since the day Aaliyah died talking about Save the whales, help haiti, save japan, curb your dog, don't step on cockaroaches, fur is murder but i love me a medium rare steak-  I kind of want to laugh. Yes i know this is horrible but some people you know are just tweeting it or facebooking it because for that day its the in thing to do. If you're not doing it your insensitive and just straight up cruel, void of compassion. If you do tweet/facebook it you are cool, down, in, full of tender, love and care. You go from a Wiz Khalifa listening, Rick Ross quoting loser to a citizen of the world and all it took was a measly tweet to have the cyberworld fooled!

I'm no mother Theresa. Lord knows about my narcoleptic ways on the NYC subway. Yes I admit, I have pretended to be asleep on the train in order to avoid giving a hobo money but hey, when I give I give big so it balances it out lol

All I am trying to say is that aside from my rather sporadic alms giving, my interest in the world beyond my window is genuine. I am the child of African immigrants and so I have always felt connected to "the other." I have always been interested in the non-Western world and the often "woolly" relationships between different cultures. I cannot help but be interested in the plights of others and observing how hoards of people come together in a time of tragedy to the put the pieces of their larger communities back together.  I CARE, i cared before facebook and twitter and i will care after the next big social networking site hits.

As for all you facebook humanitarians, thank you for helping spread awareness and I hope one day you are cured of your Pinocchio syndrome and are inspired to make the world your country.